After much introspection regarding last blog's possible realization, the only true realization I've come up with is that I wasn't wrong in the first place. Granted, Blake has shown me that there's another facet to the music business - a facet that devotes itself to fun, and a paycheck. Allowing someone to have fun was never my problem. I want people to have fun. My issue was with having fun at the expense of the professionalism of trying to begin an ambitious career, and I was confusing that with the moment-to-moment experience of actually doing the job.
My feeling is, and always has been, that there's no difference between the job and the career. That every job has to be taken seriously enough to cause it to be a stepping stone for bigger things. Although I cannot, and do not wish to, change that aspect of my personality, I now accept that others may not feel the same way. Ironically, that allows them to be much more happy and satisfied in their day-to-day life, taking joy in doing a job well. My ambition causes me to not be happy with the simplicity of the mundane. Instead, I'm always looking forward, and when things don't go well in the movement, I get affected emotionally.
That doesn't mean I was wrong, and it doesn't mean Blake is wrong. We both just have a different approach. While I still believe mine is the route necessary for growth and progress, his makes him more happy.
So there you have it. We can both be right. But where does this leave me in following the remnants of a thus-far failure of a career? I could have been working in bars, being happy, if I was like other people. But in wanting more, and not being able to achieve it, I have a little dilemma.
More on that next time.
